I wanted to say thank you again for all of your thoughts, prayers, and beautiful energy over the last month. I honestly felt as if this circle was carrying me through my most difficult days, and all of that energy allowed me to remain whole and strong when I needed to be. It is hard to believe I am back at the full moon already, but luckily it is a gentle and nurturing Taurus moon, which feels about perfect to me right now.
Calling the circle
As we contemplate this full moon, we call to the spirits of the East, spirits of Springtime, new beginnings, new starts. Element of air, first breath, cool dawn. The power of life, springing forth. We call the spirits of the East and ask them to join our circle.
We call now to the spirits of the South, spirits of strength, power, warmth, clarity, motivation, energy, movement. Element of fire, bright fires lit at midday. The power of light, illuminating us. The fire that is our passion, burning deeply within us always. We call the spirits of the South and ask them to join our circle.
And we call to the Spirits of the West, those lovely, watery spirits of our season. Spirits of our deepest feelings, our strongest emotions, our truest love. A sunset over a calm ocean, a still lake reflecting back the sky, the still waters that run deep, deep within. Element of water, emanating the power of love. We call to the spirits of the West and ask them to join our circle.
Now we summon the spirits of the North. Spirits of midnight, dark moonless skies in winter, places where truths are told, where laws are made. Element of earth, grounding us. Power of law, karma, ancestral wisdom, we call to the spirits of the North and we ask them to join our circle.
And we call to those spirits above us, angels, stars, heavens, light beings everywhere, those souls not yet incarnate. Children of our children, and to the brightest of moons. We call the spirits above and ask them to join us.
And we call to the spirits below us, to the earth that grounds us and keeps us steady, the green kingdom with its deep roots and to the lava beneath the crust that impassions us. We call the spirits below and ask them to join us.
Finally, we call to the spirits of the center, where all the directions meet and merge and where they meet and merge in each one of us. The central flame. The sacred spirit. This circle is closed, a safe and sacred circle where everyone is welcome and free to express themselves.
Where is the Moon?
The moon is in Taurus, and, with the sun in Scorpio this combination usually has us examining our deep places, but in this case I think it is more recovering from all the examination we went through at the new moon. This is a moon to be kind to yourself and those around you. It reminds us to ground ourselves, take care of our bodies, look after our physical selves. I think that with the barrage of bad news about the economy on a daily basis it will also have many of us focused on our security. For every thought based in fear, counter it with one of gratitude to soften the intensity of it.
Talking stick
As I said in my last post, when it comes to difficult times, grief, sorrow, loss in particular, there is no way through it but through it. Right after Melissa died I woke up early and decided to meditate. I wanted to go to my wise woman house for comfort, for support, to cry and perhaps for some perspective. When I came off the staircase and stepped onto the path though, I didn’t like the look of it, so I went back and kind of asked if I could choose a different path and the sense I got was that, yes, I could choose any path I wanted. So I chose a path that looked more like springtime, brighter, more cheerful but when I got to my wise woman house, I couldn’t find the door; I could only look in the window. When I asked why I couldn’t go in, the “voice” or deep wisdom, whatever you like to call it, said that I wasn’t there yet. I was not in the place of spring, with all of its lightness and newness and optimism, that it was a future path but not my path for now. So while I could walk it, I could not reach my inner sanctuary that way, at least not at this time. So, bolstered by the vision that the future holds the promise of new beginnings, I went back and walked the darker path. And that is still more or less where I am now, still, although perhaps right at this moment I feel like I’m sitting on a small hill, where I can get a bit of perspective.
Grieving is such a weird state. Some days, moments, I can feel fine and then suddenly I am just exhausted. Sometimes I just need to cry and cry and other times it feels like I’m past crying forever. Sometimes I have a broad perspective on this loss, sometimes I want to scream ‘how could this happen’? And slowly, slowly, I move along the path. My son moves me along the path. My friends, many of whom have really been just amazing through all of this, move me along the path. My desire to honor the part of Melissa that was life embracing and carefree moves me along the path. The election results this week moved me along the path. I know deeply that it is real life, and that life has these peaks and valleys and that even in the pain of it, there is so much love and my belief in that love is why I have felt so strong and as if I have so much to give particularly over these last seven or so years, and that same love is there now, a constant source, healing me, even when I am unaware.
I am still not ready to rebuild my altar. It is waiting for me and I am aware it is there, but I can’t do it yet. I have not quite shaken off all of the fear and I need to do that first. To encourage it, I am full of hair-brained schemes and dreams this week as I am reaching out for my boldest self, but I’m not sure how that will all shake out; I’m not sure how much of that is real and how much reaction. I’ll need to wait and see. Most of all, I am just too sad still. It’s getting there, but I need more time. And I will take whatever time I need. For this moon, I am seeking peace, patience with myself, and an ability to really be there for
Meditation
Imagine yourself lying beneath a soft pine tree, whose branches reach all the way to ground so that you can lie inside its embrace. It is a cool autumn night, but you are warmed by the pine’s branches, which blanket you. As you look up, you can see the light of the full moon reaching between the branches, shining down until it is touching you, reaching right into your heart. With each breath, the moonlight feels as though it is reaching through you, deep into the earth, then upward into the sky again. As it moves through you and into the earth, you feel it spiraling deep below you, into something of a staircase. You stand up, and begin to wind your way down the staircase of moonlight, beginning on the thirteenth step, the step of transformation, then spiraling around to the twelfth and the eleventh, then around to the tenth, then spiraling down and around and inward to the ninth, then the eighth, and around and inward to the seventh, then the sixth. You pause for a moment on the sixth step, leaving anything behind that you don’t choose to take along with you. Then continuing to spiral down and around to the fifth step, then the fourth, then the third. And around and inward to the second, and then finally the first step. You step off the staircase onto firm ground and head out toward the west.
You step out into the sunset and walk straight ahead, onto a path through a lush garden. Although it is autumn the garden still has beautiful flowers and plants, its fragrance almost overwhelming. You stop to notice any flowers that call out to you in particular, listening to any wisdom that they may have to share. As you make your way through the garden you notice a house at the other side and begin to head in that direction, knowing that it is the house of your wise woman.
When you get to the house, the door swings open and your wise woman greets you, welcoming you in. She gives you a big hug and leads you to the kitchen where she is cooking. She offers you whatever it is that she has cooked for you, and you sit and eat or drink with her, asking any questions that you may have, or asking for any wisdom that she might wish to share with you.
When you are ready, she leads you away from the kitchen, down a hallway with many doors. When you find the door that is right for you, you open it and step into a cave. In the front of the cave there is a fire burning, and a guide is present, sitting in front of the fire. You sit with your guide, who can answer any questions for you, or perhaps prepares you for your journey. When you are ready, your guide leads you to the path that goes deeper into the cave. Perhaps your guide goes with you, or perhaps you go alone. The path is dark, but in faith you move forward to the place you need to be. In the distance you can see a light and you head in that direction. When you arrive you enter a large room, a place that holds an answer for you. Perhaps it is a place from your past, or your present, or perhaps your future. Whatever awaits you there, it is the place that you most need to see right now. Your wise woman joins you there after a while, and can provide any answers for you that you need.
When you have seen all that you need, you head back to the first chamber, where the path began. This time the path seems easier to follow, having traveled it before. When you go back you once again sit by the fire with your guide, joined by your wise woman. She urges you to reach your hand into the fire. When you do, you feel an object in the fire, a gift for you. It is something that you need to remind you of your faith, your journey. Your wise woman or guide can clarify its meaning for you further, if you need that. Finally, when you are ready, you head back to the doorway that leads to the wise woman house, knowing that this is a place that you can come back to whenever you need it.
As you reach the front of the house you say your goodbyes, and while in her embrace, she whispers one word or phrase that will help you to remember your room. You thank her and then head back to the path that you followed to get here, this time under the guidance of the full moon, again listening to the voices and songs of the flowers along the way. And then, when you reach the place where you began, you lie back down on the ground.
Stepping back up onto the first step, spiraling upward and outward to the second step and the third, and upward and outward to the third step and the fourth. Then spiraling around to the fifth and the sixth step, and pausing now on the sixth step, retrieving anything that you left behind before, or just leaving it behind in that perfect moment in infinity. Climbing now to the seventh and upward to the eighth, upward and outward to the ninth, then the tenth, and around to the eleventh and the twelfth and then finally to the thirteenth step, the step of transformation, then lying back down onto the earth where you began, under the beautiful pine tree. And when you are ready you open your eyes.
Prayers for our circle
I haven’t received any specific calls for prayer, but if you could please continue to send great energy to my family, to
Also, for everyone in this circle affected by our current economic climate, that mountains of abundance come your way.
Much love to you all,
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