Hi Everyone,
So many of you have mentioned the intensity of this new moon! I feel it deeply too. I hope that whatever it is for you, that it is tranformational!
Calling the circle
As we contemplate this new moon, we call to the spirits of our soon to be season, the spirits of the East. Spirits of new beginnings, new starts. Element of air, first breath. The power of life, springing forth. We call the spirits of the East and ask them to join our circle.
Now we summon the spirits of the season passing away, the spirits of the North. Spirits of midnight, dark moonless skies in winter, places where truths are told, where laws are made. Element of earth, grounding us. Power of law, karma, ancestral wisdom, we call to the spirits of the North and we ask them to join our circle.
Finally, we call to the spirits of the center, where all the directions meet and merge and where they meet and merge in each one of us. The central flame. The sacred spirit. This circle is closed, a safe and sacred circle where everyone is welcome and free to express herself.
Where is the Moon?
New moon in Pisces can be many things, I have come to think. On one hand it can be this very dreamy, artistically focused time, inspiring great poetry and superb visions. It can be a time to really feel deeply all of our feelings. Yet I think it is also a time where we can get lost in our illusions, not being able to see clearly enough to know what is real. And it can be a time when feelings decide to surface that we would rather not face. It is the last moon of the lunar year and the one that has the most power to enlighten. But we have to be ready for that enlightenment!
Talking stick
February is often a tough month for me. This year it began with the death of my uncle, but the anniversary of both my brother’s death and my grandfather’s death fall in February, as does my niece’s birthday, now gone four months. So lots of awareness of loss coloring things, and certainly bringing up lots of deep feelings. But not all of the deep feelings come from loss. I am not sure I want to get into detail about all of it, but the month brought up anger, insecurity, feelings of isolation, and all of it more or less generated just by me. Sure, there were circumstances. But they weren’t big or deep, they were ordinary circumstances that for some reason provoked an extraordinary response from me. But I am proud to say that I felt everything, and confronted everything that needed to be confronted, and in some cases that meant just confronting myself about my own lack of faith. I have further to go.
I have identified a key area that I need to work on, which is trying to understand why I find it so uncomfortable and almost intolerable when someone is angry or unhappy with me. I am not saying that this should be a comfortable feeling for anyone obviously, but I dislike the feeling so much that I go out of my way to avoid confrontation, often swallowing the minor things that perhaps would have been easier to resolve than the one big thing that finally provoked a (sometimes inappropriate) response from me. I have let friendships slip away rather than confront things that maybe would have brought I and the other person closer together. Maybe they wouldn’t have, but maybe they would have? Who knows. What I do know is that I need to resolve this, if only for the sake of the kind of parent it will make me, never mind all the other benefits that it could bring. Owen needs to be able to get angry at me and I need to be comfortable enough with that anger to not try to prematurely resolve it, as I often do with Gary. I need to learn to be uncomfortable – and at the same time safe in the knowledge that real love is too deep to be lost casually.
That will be my goal for this month – and in the spirit of this new moon I will try to allow myself to feel everything, believing in deep faith that I am deeply loved.
Meditation
Imagine yourself lying on a bed of dandelions on a dark moon night, feeling warm and completely at peace with the night. The sky is ablaze with stars, a dazzling sky filled with fire and color. You feel yourself getting smaller and smaller as you lie there, until you are so small that you are able to walk right into one of the dandelion plants. As you look up, you note how the plant reaches upward, looking down you admire the depths of its roots, reaching into the earth farther than you can see. You become aware that it has become a sort of spiral staircase that you can walk down. Imagine then stepping onto the 13th step, the step of transformation, then spiraling down and around and inward to the 12th step, then down and around to the 11th and the 10th, spiraling down and around and inward to the 9th, then the 8th, then around and inward to the 7th and the 6th step. Then, pausing on the sixth step, note that as you look up you can no longer see the top, and looking down, that you can no longer see the bottom. You are standing in the middle of the spiral, in a moment of infinite perfection. If there is anything that you are carrying that you don't want to take with you on your journey, you can leave it on this step. Continuing then to the 5th step and the 4th, spiraling around to the 3rd and the 2nd and then finally the 1st step, then stepping into a clearing with four doorways, each pointing in one of the four directions. Imagine yourself walking down the pathway that heads east.
It is dawn – the sky is on fire as the nearly spring sun rises. You feel compelled to walk in the direction of the sun, feeling its warmth on your face. It is so brilliant that you can barely see the path that you are walking on, but you know that the spring sun is leading you in the right direction. Along the edges of the path are the signs of life springing forth; flowers beginning to blossom, green plants shooting up, their life force so powerful that it is nearly palpable. In the distance, you become aware that the sun is shining off of the roof of a house, making it appear to be made of blinding gold light. You head in the direction of the dwelling, recognizing it as a place both ancient and familiar – a place you have been many times before. You have reached the home of your wise woman.
As you are about to knock, the door opens and your wise woman greets you warmly, welcoming you in. Her home is as inviting as always, and she leads you to the kitchen where she is cooking. She offers you whatever it is that she has cooked for you, and you sit and eat or drink with her, asking any questions that you may have, or asking for any wisdom that she might wish to share with you.
When you are ready, she leads you down a hallway, with many doors. You find the door that is right for you and walk through, stepping out onto a vast empty beach. The mood of the ocean exactly reflects your own; raging if you are raging, calm if you are calm. You walk to the water’s edge and let go of whatever it is that you are feeling. As you do the ocean changes with you, allowing your feelings to be experienced in all of their fullness.
Your wise woman comes and joins you, takes your hand and places it into the water. As she does, the sea mood changes to the emotional state that you would most like to reflect, and you feel filled with that – whatever it may be. If you have any questions for your wise woman, any further answers, you can ask those now. When you are ready, you take your hand out of the water and you are surprised to find that it makes no difference – you still feel as connected to that perfect state of feeling as you did before and you know that you will be taking the intensity of that connection with you. With that in mind, you make your way back out of the room, but knowing that this is a place to which you can always return.
You head back toward the kitchen, sharing any last minute thoughts, asking any last minute questions. As you reach the door of the house you say your goodbyes, and while in her embrace, she whispers one word or phrase that will help you to remember your experience. You thank
her and then you return to the path this time with the sun warming your back. The light is higher in the sky now, and you are able to really appreciate the landscape around you as well. You head back to the doorway that led you to the east. When you are ready, you walk through.
Stepping back up onto the first step, spiraling upward and outward to the second step and the third, and upward and outward to the fourth step and the fifth. Then spiraling around to the sixth step, and pausing now on the sixth step, retrieving anything that you left behind before, or just leaving it behind in that perfect moment in infinity. Climbing now to the seventh and upward to the eighth, upward and outward to the ninth, then the tenth, and around to the eleventh and the twelfth and then finally to the thirteenth step, the step of transformation, then back into to the dandelion. Stepping out of the plant, you find your place beneath it, again enjoying the warm spring evening air. Then, feeling your consciousness return to the space you are in, and, when ready opening your eyes.
Prayers for our circle
Prayers for Luke who needs a big energetic push to make a really inspired career path happen. Lots of love and energy your way!!
Much love to everyone,
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