New Moon in Pisces, 24th February, 2009

Hi Everyone,

So many of you have mentioned the intensity of this new moon! I feel it deeply too. I hope that whatever it is for you, that it is tranformational!

Calling the circle

As we contemplate this new moon, we call to the spirits of our soon to be season, the spirits of the East. Spirits of new beginnings, new starts. Element of air, first breath. The power of life, springing forth. We call the spirits of the East and ask them to join our circle.

We call now to the spirits of the South, spirits of strength, power, warmth, clarity, motivation, energy, movement. Element of fire, the power of light, bright and powerful. The fire that is our passion, burning deeply within us always. We call the spirits of the South and ask them to join our circle.

And we call to the Spirits of the West. Spirits of our deepest feelings, our strongest emotions, our truest love. A sunset over a calm ocean, a still lake reflecting back the sky, the still waters that run deep, deep within. Element of water, emanating the power of love. We call to the spirits of the West and ask them to join our circle.

 

Now we summon the spirits of the season passing away, the spirits of the North. Spirits of midnight, dark moonless skies in winter, places where truths are told, where laws are made. Element of earth, grounding us. Power of law, karma, ancestral wisdom, we call to the spirits of the North and we ask them to join our circle.

And we call to those spirits above us, angels, stars, heavens, light beings everywhere, those souls not yet incarnate. Children of our children. We call the spirits above and ask them to join us.

And we call to the spirits below us, to the earth that grounds us and keeps us steady, the green kingdom with its deep roots and to the lava beneath the crust that impassions us. We call the spirits below and ask them to join us.

 

Finally, we call to the spirits of the center, where all the directions meet and merge and where they meet and merge in each one of us. The central flame. The sacred spirit. This circle is closed, a safe and sacred circle where everyone is welcome and free to express herself.

Where is the Moon?
New moon in Pisces can be many things, I have come to think. On one hand it can be this very dreamy, artistically focused time, inspiring great poetry and superb visions. It can be a time to really feel deeply all of our feelings. Yet I think it is also a time where we can get lost in our illusions, not being able to see clearly enough to know what is real. And it can be a time when feelings decide to surface that we would rather not face. It is the last moon of the lunar year and the one that has the most power to enlighten. But we have to be ready for that enlightenment!

 

Talking stick
February is often a tough month for me. This year it began with the death of my uncle, but the anniversary of both my brother’s death and my grandfather’s death fall in February, as does my niece’s birthday, now gone four months. So lots of awareness of loss coloring things, and certainly bringing up lots of deep feelings. But not all of the deep feelings come from loss. I am not sure I want to get into detail about all of it, but the month brought up anger, insecurity, feelings of isolation, and all of it more or less generated just by me. Sure, there were circumstances. But they weren’t big or deep, they were ordinary circumstances that for some reason provoked an extraordinary response from me. But I am proud to say that I felt everything, and confronted everything that needed to be confronted, and in some cases that meant just confronting myself about my own lack of faith. I have further to go.

 

I have identified a key area that I need to work on, which is trying to understand why I find it so uncomfortable and almost intolerable when someone is angry or unhappy with me. I am not saying that this should be a comfortable feeling for anyone obviously, but I dislike the feeling so much that I go out of my way to avoid confrontation, often swallowing the minor things that perhaps would have been easier to resolve than the one big thing that finally provoked a (sometimes inappropriate) response from me. I have let friendships slip away rather than confront things that maybe would have brought I and the other person closer together. Maybe they wouldn’t have, but maybe they would have? Who knows. What I do know is that I need to resolve this, if only for the sake of the kind of parent it will make me, never mind all the other benefits that it could bring. Owen needs to be able to get angry at me and I need to be comfortable enough with that anger to not try to prematurely resolve it, as I often do with Gary. I need to learn to be uncomfortable – and at the same time safe in the knowledge that real love is too deep to be lost casually.

That will be my goal for this month – and in the spirit of this new moon I will try to allow myself to feel everything, believing in deep faith that I am deeply loved.

Meditation
Imagine yourself lying on a bed of dandelions on a dark moon night, feeling warm and completely at peace with the night. The sky is ablaze with stars, a dazzling sky filled with fire and color. You feel yourself getting smaller and smaller as you lie there, until you are so small that you are able to walk right into one of the dandelion plants. As you look up, you note how the plant reaches upward, looking down you admire the depths of its roots, reaching into the earth farther than you can see. You become aware that it has become a sort of spiral staircase that you can walk down. Imagine then stepping onto the 13th step, the step of transformation, then spiraling down and around and inward to the 12th step, then down and around to the 11th and the 10th, spiraling down and around and inward to the 9th, then the 8th, then around and inward to the 7th and the 6th step. Then, pausing on the sixth step, note that as you look up you can no longer see the top, and looking down, that you can no longer see the bottom. You are standing in the middle of the spiral, in a moment of infinite perfection. If there is anything that you are carrying that you don't want to take with you on your journey, you can leave it on this step. Continuing then to the 5th step and the 4th, spiraling around to the 3rd and the 2nd and then finally the 1st step, then stepping into a clearing with four doorways, each pointing in one of the four directions. Imagine yourself walking down the pathway that heads east.

 

It is dawn – the sky is on fire as the nearly spring sun rises. You feel compelled to walk in the direction of the sun, feeling its warmth on your face. It is so brilliant that you can barely see the path that you are walking on, but you know that the spring sun is leading you in the right direction. Along the edges of the path are the signs of life springing forth; flowers beginning to blossom, green plants shooting up, their life force so powerful that it is nearly palpable. In the distance, you become aware that the sun is shining off of the roof of a house, making it appear to be made of blinding gold light. You head in the direction of the dwelling, recognizing it as a place both ancient and familiar – a place you have been many times before. You have reached the home of your wise woman.

As you are about to knock, the door opens and your wise woman greets you warmly, welcoming you in. Her home is as inviting as always, and she leads you to the kitchen where she is cooking. She offers you whatever it is that she has cooked for you, and you sit and eat or drink with her, asking any questions that you may have, or asking for any wisdom that she might wish to share with you.

When you are ready, she leads you down a hallway, with many doors. You find the door that is right for you and walk through, stepping out onto a vast empty beach. The mood of the ocean exactly reflects your own; raging if you are raging, calm if you are calm. You walk to the water’s edge and let go of whatever it is that you are feeling. As you do the ocean changes with you, allowing your feelings to be experienced in all of their fullness.

 

Your wise woman comes and joins you, takes your hand and places it into the water. As she does, the sea mood changes to the emotional state that you would most like to reflect, and you feel filled with that – whatever it may be.  If you have any questions for your wise woman, any further answers, you can ask those now. When you are ready, you take your hand out of the water and you are surprised to find that it makes no difference – you still feel as connected to that perfect state of feeling as you did before and you know that you will be taking the intensity of that connection with you. With that in mind, you make your way back out of the room, but knowing that this is a place to which you can always return.

You head back toward the kitchen, sharing any last minute thoughts, asking any last minute questions. As you reach the door of the house you say your goodbyes, and while in her embrace, she whispers one word or phrase that will help you to remember your experience. You thank
her and then you return to the path this time with the sun warming your back.  The light is higher in the sky now, and you are able to really appreciate the landscape around you as well. You head back to the doorway that led you to the east.  When you are ready, you walk through.

Stepping back up onto the first step, spiraling upward and outward to the second step and the third, and upward and outward to the fourth step and the fifth. Then spiraling around to the sixth step, and pausing now on the sixth step, retrieving anything that you left behind before, or just leaving it behind in that perfect moment in infinity. Climbing now to the seventh and upward to the eighth, upward and outward to the ninth, then the tenth, and around to the eleventh and the twelfth and then finally to the thirteenth step, the step of transformation, then back into to the dandelion. Stepping out of the plant, you find your place beneath it, again enjoying the warm spring evening air. Then, feeling your consciousness return to the space you are in, and, when ready opening your eyes.

Prayers for our circle
Prayers for Luke who needs a big energetic push to make a really inspired career path happen. Lots of love and energy your way!!

Much love to everyone,

Tara

 

Full Moon in Leo, 9th February, 2009

Hi everyone,

I feel so lit up by this full moon – the power and passion of it! I hope it is inspiring you too!

Calling the circle
As we contemplate this full moon, we call to the spirits of the East, spirits of Springtime, new beginnings, new starts. Element of air, first breath, cool dawn. The power of life, springing forth. We call the spirits of the East and ask them to join our circle.

We call now to the spirits of the South, spirits of strength, power, warmth, clarity, motivation, energy, movement. Element of fire, bright fires lit at midday. The power of light, illuminating us. The fire that is our passion, burning deeply within us always. We call the spirits of the South and ask them to join our circle.

And we call to the Spirits of the West. Spirits of our deepest feelings, our strongest emotions, our truest love. A sunset over a calm ocean, a still lake reflecting back the sky, the still waters that run deep, deep within. Element of water, emanating the power of love. We call to the spirits of the West and ask them to join our circle.

Now we summon the spirits of the North. Spirits of midnight, dark moonless skies in winter, places where truths are told, where laws are made. Element of earth, grounding us. Power of law, karma, ancestral wisdom, we call to the spirits of the North and we ask them to join our circle.

And we call to those spirits above us, angels, stars, heavens, light beings everywhere, those souls not yet incarnate. Children of our children, and to the brightest of moons. We call the spirits above and ask them to join us.

And we call to the spirits below us, to the earth that grounds us and keeps us steady, the green kingdom with its deep roots and to the lava beneath the crust that impassions us. We call the spirits below and ask them to join us.

Finally, we call to the spirits of the center, where all the directions meet and merge and where they meet and merge in each one of us. The central flame. The sacred spirit. This circle is closed, a safe and sacred circle where everyone is welcome and free to express themselves.

Where is the Moon?
The moon is in Leo as I mentioned above, and a full moon eclipse at that. Eclipses intensify the energy but for a brief moment they hide it too; like a mini-retrograde. I feel that. This moon is focused on our power and our ability to create and because it is an Aquarius sun, it highlights change or new ways of doing things. You can be an agent of change, you can accept change, you can wield the fiery torch of change. That’s why I love love love Leo moons.

Talking stick
This has been another moon cycle of intensity and turmoil, but lately, these last few days, I’ve been feeling like I am standing at the inside the eye of the storm, as if the storm is raging all around me but I myself am calm in the middle. The storm may return, but if it does I am grateful for the break from it that I feel right now.

NY was the usual intense experience, but I was grateful to spend time with some old friends, which was so so comforting and Kelly, as usual, managed to keep me on the ground even when the world around me was spinning. I missed our NY circle though and will definitely make more time next trip.

My uncle passed away the day after I arrived home. He was my godfather, and a pivotal figure in my childhood. What I loved most about him was the way that he always told me that I could do anything, be anything, and that he seemed to fully expect greatness from me. He would tell me that he absolutely knew that I was going to be successful at whatever I did. And I really believed him and almost felt like I had to make it true because he so powerfully thought that it would be. I got a chance to say goodbye to him, which I appreciated tremendously, especially after just having lost my niece so suddenly. And when I heard that he died, all I could think of was the song, “When the Saints Go Marching In”, because this was a man who has struggled with a brain tumour for over 20 years. He deserves a rest and I get a sense his soul is at peace now.

I have so much to say about the fullness of this moon, but time is once again short for me. I will say this much: it is inspiring me: inspiring growth and change in my relationship (all good), inspiring me to think creatively about something I’ve been stuck on for ages (my book), and helping me to see myself maybe a bit like my uncle did; like this powerful force that can accomplish anything. I want to ride that vibe all the way through the winter (it’s going on forever this year!) and into the season of spring, when life will burst forth all around me and with any luck at all, through me as well.


Meditation

Imagine yourself lying on the ground, under a fragrant white pine on a snowy evening. The snow is blanketing the earth, making it soundless, perfectly still except for your breath. The moon and stars are so bright, shining a light so powerful that it almost feels as though it could lift you off of the ground and carry you. You imagine that you are immersed in that light, floating in it. The light below you begins to swirl, to spiral, until it twists into something of a staircase. You stand up, and begin to wind your way down the staircase of moonlight, beginning on the thirteenth step, the step of transformation, then spiraling around to the twelfth and the eleventh, then around to the tenth, then spiraling down and around and inward to the ninth, then the eighth, and around and inward to the seventh, then the sixth. You pause for a moment on the sixth step, leaving anything behind that you don’t choose to take along with you. Then continuing to spiral down and around to the fifth step, then the fourth, then the third. And around and inward to the second, and then finally the first step. You step off the staircase onto the ground, and walk through the doorway in front of you that heads north.

You step out into the snowy evening, wrapped warmly in a furry cloak and you head out across a meadow. From the top of the meadow you can see that you are in the mountains, with many peaks in each direction. Although the snow is deep on either side of you, the path is clear that goes across the field. In the distance you can see a dwelling, with smoke rising from a chimney. You head toward it, looking forward to the warmth that will greet you. As you get closer you recognize the dwelling – as familiar as it is ancient. You have reached the home of your wise woman.

As you are about to knock, the door swings open and your wise woman greets you, welcoming you in. She gives you a big hug and leads you further into the dwelling, where she is preparing food and drink. She offers you whatever it is that she has cooked for you, and you sit and eat or drink with her, asking any questions that you may have, or asking for any wisdom that she might wish to share with you.

When you are ready, she leads you down a hallway with many doors. You follow her to a door at the end of the hallway, then step through, back out into the night. The sky is brightly lit by the moon and the reflective snow and there is a big fire burning. You go toward the fire and begin to walk around it: walking, running, dancing, swirling around the fire until the stars, the moon, the fire all blend into one big vision of light and at that moment you stop and notice the sky. The moonlight has retreated and only the dark canvas of sky remains, but as you watch, the stars begin to swirl and move and change, dancing as you did earlier around the fire until they form a vision of your life; a vision that you need to see right now. You sit, watching the vision unfold. Then, gradually, the light of the moon returns and you are joined by your wise woman. She is there to answer any questions that you might have about the vision you were shown. When you are satisfied she leads you around the fire once again, spiraling around and around and she keeps repeating one word or phrase as a mantra for you to repeat. You both spiral around the fire until the moon reaches its full brightness again, repeating your word or phrase over and over again. Finally, when you are ready, you walk back through the door, but knowing that this is a place to which you can always return.

As you reach the front of the house, you say your goodbyes, and while in her embrace, she whispers the word or phrase that will help you to remember your vision one more time. You thank her and then head back to the path that you followed to get here, warmed by your experience and feeling lighter and happier as you cross back through the snowy meadow to the doorway that you walked through.

Stepping back up onto the first step, spiraling upward and outward to the second step and the third, and upward and outward to the third step and the fourth. Then spiraling around to the fifth and the sixth step, and pausing now on the sixth step, retrieving anything that you left behind before, or just leaving it behind in that perfect moment in infinity. Climbing now to the seventh and upward to the eighth, upward and outward to the ninth, then the tenth, and around to the eleventh and the twelfth and then finally to the thirteenth step, the step of transformation, then lying back down onto the earth where you began. And when you are ready you open your eyes.

Prayers for our circle
Lots of love to everyone in this circle – you are the light of the world!!

Much love to all of you,

Tara